This is heartbreaking to read. I am so sorry, Annie. You must be a very loving woman to hang in there for 42 years. It bothers me when I hear people say “you knew I was like this when you met me.” Emotional maturity is recognizing our need to constantly learn and grow through life — and then actually doing what is required. Having a healthy relationship is nearly impossible with someone who is emotionally immature and doesn’t think they need to change. I pray you have friends and family in your life who are able to meet some of your very valid needs. Peace and blessings to you.