Hey Stuart, thanks so much for your comment. I’m not suggesting there’s an easy or simple answer to your question, but I’m a big believer in open communication — I think it’s critical for those lines to be open and flowing in a healthy relationship. Just reading what you’ve written makes me wonder a)what do you want of your marriage — what are your hopes/dreams/needs, and b)what are hers? I’m not asking you to share those things with me, but I’d suggest sitting down and discussing them with each other. What are the things you/she are doing *right* that you maybe need to do more of? What is one thing you each can commit to doing for the next 2 weeks that will help your relationship? And then, check in after those 2 weeks — what’s working, what’s not? I think we assume our partner (since they know us best) will inherently know what we need or what will hurt our feelings, but that usually isn’t the case.